Skip to main content

Is this thing on?

Is this thing on? 3.5 stars out of 4.






A wise man once said, Marriage is hard. Divorce is hard. Choose your hard. That’s a good place to start with this movie. The couple in this film seem like they get along well enough, but they’ve agreed to get a divorce. They are both trying to be as nice as possible despite the massive Elephant in the room. They have kids and a house and a community. There are going to be some logistical issues.


You kind of wonder why these two are breaking up. A key piece of understanding comes from Lara Dern’s character towards the end of the movie when she says, “I was unhappy in our marriage. I wasn't unhappy with our marriage.”

It's the key line in the whole movie. These were two people who had dreams. She was going to be a professional Volleyball player. Her dreams were clear. His are a little more hidden, and where the movie spends most of it’s time. He has a vague job in “finance” that’s nice enough to pay for a big house in the New York suburbs. The dude is clearly doing alright.

But turns out he’s got another gear. And, as he is wandering around New York City one night, he ends up performing Stand-Up comedy at an open mic night, (it is Will Arnett, and yes, Will has done this before.) It’s a fascinating turn. He’s a million miles from polished, but the rawness of his honesty seems to connect with people. He gets a few laughs and he is hooked. He’s found his new thing.

Some other very familiar faces drift into this movie to add some color. Peyton Manning pops in as the frenemy sniffing around Lara Dern when he smells a little blood in the water. Bradley Cooper (who directed this film) humbly casts himself as the suburban weirdo. All of these people add their bits to the film and then exit stage right, as they should.

Because what this movie really is, is a reflection on the institution of marriage. The movie asks some big questions. Do some of us give up on our dreams in the service of marriage and family? This movie seems to think so. After their separation, Dern returns to her passion and becomes an Olympic Volleyball coach. Arnett starts getting pretty good at Stand-Up and even opens for New York legend Dave Attell.

And then the movie takes a most interesting turn. These are two people who have both felt dead inside for some time, but now they are both fully awake.

And then?

They become wildly attracted to each other again.

I thought long and hard about what this movie was trying to say. I think a lot of the meaning is right there in the title. “Is this thing on” is a common refrain from comedians who tell a joke that doesn’t get a whole lot of laughs.

But here it has a second meaning as well. “Is this thing on,” also refers to the cruising altitude many marriages hit after years of stagnation. Is this entity we call marriage still alive? Or have we become roommates organizing school pickups together?

I found it a fascinating turn these two regained their marital spark AFTER they separated and regained their individual sparks.

Passion is an attractor. That’s a big takeaway from this movie.

And maybe the final thought might be, we have two tracks in this life, the dreams we have for ourselves and the sacrifices we make for others when we chose to commit ourselves to something besides ourselves.

Maybe these two things are not mutually exclusive, that’s what I kept thinking when I was watching this movie.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Song, Sung, Blue

3.5 Stars out of 4 I've always been fascinated by bands that imitate other bands. Some I have seen have been downright awful and a few have sounded better than the bands they were imitating.  Musicians often live on the margins, and only a select few get rich doing it. Sometimes, wildly talented people never get their break. Conversely, plenty of mediocre talents have also become superstars. Timing, nepotism, connections and just flat-out luck all play a part. But having dipped a toe in the show business world myself, I would say a combination of exceptional talent AND the exceptional ability to sell yourself would give you the best possible chance to succeed. That or the Nepotism thing.  But even then, there would be no guarantee.  Some musicians accept they will never get big playing their own songs and make a living playing cover songs. Some of my favorite people fit into this category. You can still bring a lot of joy to the world singing other people's songs.  I...
Post a Comment
Read more

Rosemead

                                  4 Stars out of 4  In 1998, Lai Hang, a 49-year-old widow facing a terminal cancer diagnosis, shot her 17-year old son George, who suffered from severe schizophrenia. He had become obsessed with school shootings, and she worried he would act on these urges. On the day she received her prognosis, Hang took her son's life to spare him from a life alone with an untreated mental illness and to potentially spare others from the harm he might do. The case highlighted the shame and taboo surrounding mental illness within some Asian American communities, which hindered early treatment and support. Those are the facts this movie is based on.  But the way Lucy Liu humanizes this story is nothing short of extraordinary.  I remember way back when I was learning how to be a psychologist, we had to take a class on cultural awareness. This class walked a fine line betwee...
Post a Comment
Read more